For the first 20 months of being a mum, I struggled with my mental health. I loved my daughter but I didn’t love myself. I didn’t speak up and ask for help because unfortunately, I’ve had negative experiences with medical professionals and didn’t feel seen or heard. In August 2019 I knew things had to change. At that point I was extremely thin but not thin enough that anyone noticed or worried about it being an issue. The next day, I started working out to build muscle and eat more to put on weight. This time I was fully committed and I knew I had to do it for my daughter. I knew that I had to love myself because children model their parents. I naively thought that if I looked “fixed” on the outside, I would feel better on the inside. I’m not gonna lie, looking better on the outside definitely did wonders for my confidence and self-esteem but there was sooo much more inner work to do. The healing journey isn’t easy. Issa process. Today I want to share with you 5 ways that I take care of my mental health and well-being as a Black mum.
Exercise
The one that started it all. Exercise means so much to me because it saved me. I used to work out when I went to university but then life started ‘lifing’ . Exercise has given me a better sense of self and I am in tune with my mind and body. The idea is that you move your body so do what feels good for you. I prefer to workout at home using my weights and YouTube videos. There’s so much choice when it comes to exercising: cardio, workout programs, Pilates and yoga to name a few.
Meditating
I have been meditating consistently since December 2022. Meditation has always been a challenge because I have such a busy brain. I found out about something called habit building which is when you pair a new habit with an existing habit. As I workout in the morning anyway, I thought I may as well do the meditation afterwards. Turned out to be the perfect pairing! I started off with 5 minutes a day then progressed to 10 minutes. I have noticed that my mind is now less busy and I’m able to separate my thoughts more and compartmentalise them.
Journaling
My journaling journey is similar to meditation in that I have tried and quit many times. I started again around October 2022 after getting encouragement from my peers. I expressed to them that I didn’t know what to write. Some of the suggestions that I got was to put a timer on or just commit to writing X amount of lines, but ultimately it comes back to giving yourself grace. Journalling is for you and no-one else. It’s a chance to write down how you are feeling without judgement. I find journal prompts really useful too.
Reading
I’ve always loved reading but since 2020 I’ve used reading to really help me on my healing journey. I love books on trauma, mental health and overcoming. These books help me feel seen and give me an understanding of my own experiences and how to move forward. I have read some amazing books this year including “The Light We Carry” by Michelle Obama, “Right Within” by Minda Harts and “What Happened To You?” by Bruce D. Perry and Oprah Winfrey. If you are struggling for time, start off reading 2-3 pages a day and work your way up.
Skincare
I’m an organic skincare entrepreneur and I enjoy making skincare that smells and feels good. I love moisturising my skin after my shower and before bedtime. It’s a way of checking in with myself and showing myself some love. As I always say self-care = self-love. When I was ill I wasn’t taking care of my body, so I feel so grateful that I do this now. My daughter sees that I am taking care of myself which will teach her to do the same.
I hope you found these tips useful. Remember it takes 30 days to form a habit so give yourself grace (that word again!), be kind to yourself and start small. As mums, it is important that we take care of our mental health and well-being so that we can take care of others.
Peace and love
Sabrina x
